If Everyone Tweeted Like Writers


Twitter is self-selecting. Even with “Moments” and “While You Were Away” and bots and adverts, you get the timeline you opt for by following particular people. I’m aware this might change, but for now it’s true.

My timeline is heavily weighted toward writers, publishing professionals, and media types. I am one of them. I understand what it’s like to spend all day alone in a room with your ego and your humility, wondering why the hell you’re bothering, and what it feels like to come up for air wondering if anyone out there gives a shit, and what it feels like to live with the uneasy need to justify your existence and vocation.

I get it.


I wonder what Twitter would look like if other professions made a song and dance of their work as so many of us writers do?

@PlumbCrazy Who puts cat litter down their insinkerator? Three hours to unclog one drain! #amplumbing

@PlumbCrazy All afternoon wedged in a freezing crawl space totally worth it when I get the heat back on in an old dear’s house. #amplumbing

@ASSistThis Spent morning building a pyramid of passata, and all afternoon moving it six inches to the left. #ontheshopfloor

@ASSistThis Double shift. Stood for twelve straight hours with just two ten minute breaks. Store crazy busy. Hate Christmas. #tillergirl

@Legalbeagle Torts to the left of me, writs to the right, stuck in the middle with uberrimae fidei. Long day. #amlawyering

@Legalbeagle 6 supervision orders, 5 summonses, 4 summary judgements, and a litigious partridge in a frigging pear tree. #Inatcourt

@sparkle Note to self: Installing six km of wiring is much easier if you hold the blueprint the right way up. #switchedon

@sparkle Been up and down so many poles today I feel like I should have £ tucked into my tool belt. #amelectifying

@RefuseNick Disarticulated torso fell out of tip as we hoisted it into the truck. Everyone screamed. Tailor’s dummy. No more crime fiction for us! LOL #cleaningup

@BinLaurie After a long week of stopping and starting, I like to kick back with a couple of hours on a motorway. #cleaningup


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